


What do I gotta do to keep you?

by Sosayweall777



Category: Holby City
Genre: Angst, Basically I like to hurt my own feelings, F/F, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 06:24:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16907808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sosayweall777/pseuds/Sosayweall777
Summary: My little one-shot on Leah-gate





	What do I gotta do to keep you?

“ _I wrote a couple of notes, one in love and one in anger.”_

 Bernie sat on the edge of her hotel bed. This is not how she had imagined her life 24 hours ago.

 

No.

 

24 hours ago she was ready to get move in with, change countries for, possibly marry the one woman she ever truly loved. 24 hours ago she saw everything so clearly.

 

Until she didn’t.

 

Her vision clouded with tears again and she swiped at them angrily.

 

Last night after Serena had finally told her about Leah-  _Leah_. Bernie’s tongue burnt with remembrance. The acid on her tongue as she repeated the name back to Serena. She was young, beautiful but, but...and there is was. In a single phrase.

 

 _But_ she was meant to love Bernie.

 

 _But_ they had overcome so much. Serena would never jeopardize that.

 

 _But_ Serena had.

 

Bernie had left after that, like a wounded animal she had practically run out of the hospital. She had drove around for a few hours thinking. When she felt she couldn’t take anymore without driving to Serena’s and breaking every piece of glass in the house, she checked into a hotel.She hadn’t slept a wink. She wrote a couple of letters.

 

One in anger.

 

The other in love.

 

At the end of it all that’s what she was. Angry but still so so in love.

 

Bernie stared at the ceiling above her and allowed herself to feel the weight of the pain. She let out a strangled sob and took a pillow to cover her face. She let out a long scream into it (hoping no one in the hotel would be alarmed). She was searching for a way to claw the chasm inside of her out. She felt so broken.

 

Where could she go next?

 

Her mind wandered and she knew the answer. She knew at the end of it, despite everything, Serena was who she was still so desperately in love with.

 

She knew Serena was crushing herself with guilt. She knew Serena would have probably drank herself into a stupor. She felt a sick sense of satisfaction that she would have a hangover and then her stomach clenched.

 

She wasn’t this person. She knew what it was to be caught in an affair. But this was different. And one way it was different was it was two kisses. Nothing more.

 

Was she willing to give up Serena over two kisses?

 

No.

 

Bernie looked at the notes she had written the night before. They were full of anger. Full of love. Full of messy thoughts she had since realized she could articulate better with a clearer head. She slowly tore them to shreds.

 She was going to do something different for once. She wasn’t running.

She picked up her phone from the bedside table.

 

Six missed calls.One voice message.All from the object of her thoughts, good and bad.

 

She quickly hit the little play button and just heard sobbing.

 

She looked up at the ceiling. It was Serena. Just apologizing over and over. Serena who most likely left this very drunk.Bernie found no satisfaction in it.

 She quickly dialed the number back and waited.

“Hello?” Serena’s voice wafted through the phone, clearly horse and raw.

 

“Serena it’s me. I’m coming home. I want to talk.”

 

She heard a sigh of relief on the other side.

 

“Okay, whatever you need. I’ll do whatever you want or need.” Serena replied, a tremble in her voice.

 

“Okay. I’ll be there in 15. And Serena? “

 

“Yes?”

 

“I still love you.”

 

“I always have and always will love you too.” Serena answered back, punctuated by a small sob.

 

“See you soon”

 

Bernie Wolfe hung up. She was going home.

**Author's Note:**

> Basically I’m sad and I want other people to be sad with me.


End file.
